The Most Cliche Ridden Story Ever
by Toxicmind
Summary: In which I try to cram as many cliches into a story as I possibly can. And it's a songfic! YAR! [PG13 for language]


Guaranteed to be the most cliché DC story you have ever read. If you can find a fanfic with more clichés tell me, and I'll double their amount…Free of charge!

The lyrics (well most of them) are from a random Hillary Duff song that I've never heard before called _Underneath__ this Smile._ ****

The Most Cliché Ridden Story in the Entire Universe

(Or your money back)

Disclaimer: I own Conan…wait, no I don't.

Conan was depressed.

Ran was depressed. Kogoro, Heiji, Kazuha, Inspector Megure, Professor Agasa, Amy, Genta, Mitsohiko, Sonoko, Kaito, Aoko, Astro Boy, Godzilla, that dust bunny, and the Almighty Thor, everyone was depressed.

Except Ai, who was actually in a pretty good mood.

_What I'm standing on is sinking in_

_And I don't have a clue how to get off of it_

Ai was making toast, a sure way to brighten anybody's mood. Conan, as stated before, was sulking. He had been whining about something or other involving Ran; Ai was only halfway listening. She offered him some toast, which he refused. Ah well, it was his own fault for not taking the toast.

Meantime, Agasa was upset because he had a splinter.

_But when I look at you there is hope_

_It's like you see the sadness in my eyes_

"Well, buck up little camper," Ai started, but she was cut off by the look of horror Conan had given her.

"**What** did you just say?" he asked, completely appalled by her random Out-Of-Character burst. Ai ignored him.

"Look at me, cause there is hope."

"Can't you see the sadness in my eyes??" Conan retorted. Then they sat in silence for a bit, wondering where the hell that had come from. Somewhere else in the house, Agasa let out a yelp as he pulled out the offending piece of wood.

_You read the blue between the lines_

_You could be the one to hold me when I wanna cry_

Later that night, Conan returned home and saw something unusual: Ran depressed about Shinichi. Seeing her like that, it made him feel bad. Really, really bad. In fact, it almost made him want to do something about it, but not quite.

"Ran-nee-chan, why are you cryin?"

Ran noticed the boy and smiled.

_Underneath this smile_

_My world is slowly caving in_

"No reason Conan. Do you want some coco?"

And so the two shared another tear jerking moment where fans pulled out their hair, and cursed the characters for just not getting things done and over with by telling each other the truth about how they feel. Not that I'm bitter or anything…

But never fear gentle reader. As this is a fanfic, everything has to be wrapped up quickly by the end of the story. Or at the very least, a couple has to confess their undying love for each other and make out.

_All the while…The story is actually fitting the lyrics…wow_

_Hey shut up! I'm proud…_

The next day…dun dun dun!

Conan awoke to the doorbell ringing. Kogoro had passed out drunk, and Ran was up early working on homework. She asked him to get it for her. So, still in his little footy pajamas, his hair a mess, and his breath that smelling like day old coffee he answered the door to find Ai standing there.

"You're in luck Kudo. I just finished the antidote to the appoxtiion—er thing," Ai said, because the author was too lazy to look up the actual name. God bless fanfiction.

"That's it?" Conan asked. Ai gave him a confused stare. He continued, "I mean… no mysterious riddle or trick, no previous planning, no pointing a fake gun to my head beforehand? You just walk to my door and hand it to me?"

She shrugged, "So I'm lazy. I just stayed up all night working on this you. I don't have to give it to you, if you don't want it." Conan snatched it out of her hand.

_Cause that is all I know_

_Could you be the one to save me from every bad habit that has helped me dig this hole?_

"I'm not going to be Conan anymore!"

"But for how long?" Ai asked mysteriously, "Dun DUN **DUN**!" Conan gave her another look.

"What the hell kind of pills have you been pumping into yourself lately, Haibara?"

"The blue kind."

_I've been hiding out for miles_

_Underneath this smile_

"Conan, I'm home!" Ran called. Nobody answered. There was a note for her on the table. It was from… "Gasp! **Shinichi!"**

_I have walked this earth with broken bones_

_I've been keeping secrets under all these lights_

Dear Ran,

I'm sorry to have been gone for so long. Meet me at some abandoned dock, itsh more romantic like dat.

_Shinichi._

_Are you still reading the lyrics to this song? _

_Wow, cause I'm not._

Ran had run there as fast as she could, but not before prettifying herself. After all, she has to make a good impression, eh? The abandoned dock was…errr, abandoned when she got there. Nobody was there…cause it was abandoned.

_If the actual lyrics were here,_

_you could see how little sense they make_

And then uhh…Shinichi popped out all dramatic like. ….Hey, what are you talking about? I did think this scene through, for a full 5 seconds!

He came to her, **dramatically**, took her hand in his and wiped her tears with his other. "Don't cry, why are you crying?" And blah blah blah, more romantic stuff. Geeze, I'm boring my own self here.

"Shinichi," she cried. He held her comfortingly. She sighed, "If you think this makes it all better, you're dead wrong." And with those words she snuck out of Shinichi's hold and threw him on his back. Judo could certainly be useful at times.

_You don't let me twist and turn the truth_

_It feels as if I'm naked when you're standing in the room_

"Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for you?" She screamed at her fallen companion. He looked up at her confusedly, and thought back to the last 300 or so episodes.

"Actually I have no clue."

"Damn, me neither."

_Underneath this smile_

_My world is slowly caving in_

Meanwhile…Back at the Mouri Detective Agency, Kogoro had his name legally changed to Richard. Richard sucks and is doing something stupid, because apparently everyone hates him.

Look at how stupid I just made him look, enjoy his pain and suffering. Ha ha ha.

_All the while_

_I'm hanging on instead of letting go_

And also Meanwhile, Heiji randomly decided that he loved Ran, and decided to steal her away from Shinichi. Apparently **he** was an evil bastard like that.

As a result, Kazuha hits him over the head with a chair, and order was restored in the form of massive brain damage.

_Could you be the one to save me from every bad habit that has helped me dig this hole?_

_I've been hiding out too long_

"Well now that we have all that finally settled, we can officially become a couple," said Shinichi.

"Yes, after that long talk about our true feelings we just had, I can tell you how much I love you and hold you in my arms," Ran said.

What? Oh, it wasn't that important anyways. It was nothing you haven't read before in every other DC romance fanfic. Same old boring crap, you didn't miss a thing. You still get the juicy stuff; my guess is you would have skipped over all that anyways just to get to this part.

And with that said, Shinichi and Ran finally leaned in for their first kiss. It was warm, loving and all that tender, romantic shit. After they parted Shinichi was smoking, literally.

"Gee, it was hot, but I didn't think it was **that** hot," Ran commented.

_Underneath this smile_

_Underneath this smile_

_Oh, yeah_

Oh yeah indeed.

Shinichi winced in pain and stumbled away. God damn Haibara, he thought, her pills just keep getting cheaper and cheaper.

"Ran, I'm sorry. I uh…just remembered something on my case," he said, steam pouring from every orifice. "I better go," He attempted to run away, but managed to take two steps before falling over in a pathetic heap.

"Shinichi? What's happenin—**OH GAWD!** I'm going to be sick!"

_Underneath this smile_

_My world is slowly caving in_

Shinichi had turned back to Conan. Ran stared at him with confusion, wonder, a deep feeling of wanting to hurl, and an undeniable rage.

"So you **are** Conan, you **bastard!**"

"Uh…No I'm not."

"God damnit, I had to go on Prozac because of you! Everyone thought I was nuts, Shinichi!"

"I swear to God, I'm not Shinichi."

"I just **saw** you change into Conan! How do you plan to lie your way out of this one?"

Conan shot her with his watch-stun-gun. She fell over and he tried to catch her; he forgot she was too big for him now and was crushed under her weight. He crawled out from under her.

He looked at her sleeping body, sighed and whispered in her ear, "It was a dream…it was all a dream…" Then on a second thought, he added, "ooooooooo" in a spooky voice and ran away as fast as his little legs could take him.

_La La La, more teenybopper angsty crap. _

_Are you STILL reading this? Geeze._

"Your pill sucks Haibara," Conan said.

"It's not **my** fault. Well, so now what do you plan to do?"

"Hmm…Lets have a **Beach Party!**"

_Could you be the one to save me from every bad habit that has helped me dig this hole?_

_Underneath this smile_

So everyone went to the beach! And I mean EVERYONE! Ran, Conan, Heiji, and Kazuha were dancing with Kaito, Aoko, Hakuba and Akako, even though they didn't even know each other. Kogo—I mean Richard, was making an ass of himself cause everyone hates him. The Detective Boys were there, who recently had to change their name to "The Junior Detective League" because of a law suit they got saying their name was too sexist. They were all having good ole' patented Gosho-style fun.

When Suddenly Conan had an announcement, he stood up on a cooler and shouted, "Hey everyone, I'm changing my name to Jimmy!"

There was a pause, and then everyone laughed because it was funny. Haha! Then the cooler tipped, and Conan fell, and everyone laughed again. Good times, Hahaha!

_Could you be the one to save me from every bad habit that has helped me dig this hole?_

_I've been hiding out for miles_

_Underneath this_

_Underneath this_

_Underneath this smile_

_What I'm standing on is sinking in_

The End.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

AN: I am deeply sorry about that. It just had to be done. It **had** to. The monkeys made me do it. Garn, I'm sure I lost some IQ points after that.


End file.
